High Voltage Erotica

By Pat Sheil August 15, 2005, Sydney Morning Herald

"Clare leaned towards him conspiratorially. 'Well, let's just say that I'm feeling particularly fertile, my love, especially surrounded by all this rampant spawning! I wouldn't be at all surprised if we take something other than photos home from this trip.' "

Just a taste of the high-voltage erotica that spices the 484 pages of NAFA, or the National Australian Fishing Annual. This immense work, the mother of all fishing magazines, catches the eye not because of the two fetching bikini girls on the cover, but the massive 118-centimetre barra they've just netted. Magnificent specimens, the three of them, and there's plenty more where they came from.

Yes, fishing can be sexy, or sex can be fishy - either way, NAFA's got it covered. And uncovered - the topless model, tastefully shot from the rear on page 101, is a helpfully captioned example. She's wearing "Model's own bikini bottom, Atomic cap" and is walking into the sea carrying a "G. Loomis GLX BSR 852 Bass & Barra rod", with a "Shimino Stradic 4000FA threadline reel".

AdvertisementAdvertisement Once you get a feel for this genre, it becomes pretty clear that most of the readers would stare at this photo and say, "Mate, get a load of her Stradic 4000!"

Because if nothing else, fishing is all about gear. Even when there are no fish to be had, anglers still have hours of fun exploring each others' tackle, comparing notes, and bemoaning the fact that if only they had one of Starlo & Bucky's Squidgies - maybe one of the Finesse Resin Head Jigs - the tinny would be crammed to the gunnels with flatties.

Yes, the language is arcane, but that's half the fun. And it isn't all techno jargon, either. Wrap your net around this, from Modern Fishing's editor, Daniel Tillack.

"I am not an animal. The giant trevally (GT), however, is an animal. A crazy, angry, hungry freak that enjoys moonlit nights, long walks on the beach as well as smashing poppers, melting drag washers, breaking backs and crushing egos."

No, I don't know what he's talking about either, but it's a ripping read.

If you want to be able to talk fish, even if you've never caught one, you can't go past the new edition of North Australian Fish Finder, a whacking great biannual that now boasts "New Darwin Harbour wreck sonar scans" among other delights.

The guide to "Lures for northern pelagic species" on page 30 will see you through just about any encounter with members of the fishing fraternity. For instance, did you know that bibless minnows should "have the line attached to the back so the lure swims nose down"? Or that some of them can also be used as jigs? Well, you do now.

But if you eventually tire of trying to work out whether you want a 4.9:1 ratio 40N narrow-spool, you can always go back to the NAFA Good Gear Model Shoot. The girls are pretty, to be sure, but check out the sheila on page 99! She's pulled a Killalure Barra Bait 20-plus Gold Streak out of her Plano tray. Man, she means business!